The Great Life

So true.

With each passing moment, each passing day, the more you struggle, the more you hustle and grind, the more you endure, the more you smile in the face of obstacles and challenges and setbacks – the stronger you become, the stronger you will be.

Life has a funny way of rewarding those that keep going.

For all those who have sent in messages via Shannon’s support Facebook page, to those who have sent emails and cards and food and get well gifts that are too many to count – one becomes STRONGER because of you.

No one ever does it alone in this world, and when the chips are down sometimes, its nice to know that those by your side are even more so to ensure that you get back up fast. Real fast.

And as Shannon finished chemo session #2 yesterday late afternoon, she came out smiling like she always does, feeling a little tired physically, but mentally stronger – knowing that no matter what, family and friends and her pain in the butt fiancee were right there for her.

Before we fell asleep one night this past week, I asked Shannon how she felt about all this, what was going on in her mind as she went up against this and endured it – her reply could not have been closer to what mine would have been (I guess minds that are in love with one another think alike): I just don’t think about it anymore, she said. I thought about it in the beginning, but now I don’t care, I don’t think about it, I just keep going.

And so she does. And she amazes all that know her so well, but haven’t seen her in a little while – she awes them and inspires them and makes them scratch their head a little, kind of in disbelief – the kind that makes you say, really, you have cancer?!?!?

Cause that aura, that sunshine and glow of a smile, that laugh, that positive vibe and energy – makes one believe, this can’t be true, this human is too strong and too vibrant to be diagnosed with such a thing.

But when your strong and you don’t stop, you become stronger. And stronger.

And that’s what my angel, my love, keeps doing everyday. Hustling and grinding and living and loving and getting stronger and stronger until all the ill that’s inside is gone and gone forever.

I love you Shann.

You never want to toot your horn too early in the game when things are going smooth and all looks good, but Shannon got some news today that one can’t help but giddy over as she goes toe to toe with her recently diagnosis of Hodgkins Lymphoma.

My lovely trooper of a fiancee gave me a call this afternoon at the office post her appointment with her Hematologist – the news could not have been more progressive this early on.

1) got her tests back from her bone marrow biopsy and testing from the liquid extracted from her lung (of which approx 5.5 liters in total has been drained in the past 45 days) – ALL OF WHICH ARE CANCER FREE.

2) after they took the liquid (this was round 2 – 4 liters taken out this time) out of her lungs approx 2 weeks ago, the lung filled up 1/3 within 72 hours after that draining – TODAY the doc could barely hear any liquid in her lung after testing.

3) Shann gained back 4 much needed pounds. 10lbs lost in hospital during 9 day stay.

4) One swollen lymph node in neck has reduced in size.

5) white blood cell count is up. that means bi weekly white blood cell shots have been reduced from 5 shots to 4.

Early still yes, but after the very first chemo session approx 2 weeks ago, Shann stopped cold turkey instantly her regular night sweats – a very common and apparent symptom of the disease.

I haven’t written much in the past several days. That will change in the up coming weeks.

TEAM SHANNON will hit the streets of Montreal in full force this coming Sunday September 5th at the Montreal 10km portion of the Oasis Montreal Marathon – an outfitted group of runners sporting TEAM SHANNON tees will run as one in support of Shannon. Most of whom are family and friends, no funds will be raised, its simply to show Shannon how much we care about her and how much we love her.

My brother Christopher organized the entire group, we cant thank him enough. Love you Bro.

If you want to join us for the run and/or sport a TEAM SHANNON tee, please message me here or email me at mark@markcigos.com

Much love to Shannon. Keep going my angel.

no matter how hard you try to map out your life, no matter how detailed and thought out, it’s never going to go exactly as planned. curve balls will be thrown, obstacles will arise, surprises pleasant and not will unexpectedly pop their heads without warning.

thats life. there is no rhyme or reason, you just cant script the ebb and flow of the world as it turns.

life is a journey and as repetitive and familiar as that may sound, its nothing but the truth.

and since Shannon was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma several weeks ago, a new journey did begin for her and us and all those closest to her- but at the same time, the journey of life well, it simply just continued.

it was a new obstacle, a new surprise, although one she could have done with out, a new challenge to get better, be better, do better, love and live better.

and yes there will be good days and days that fall short of desirable.

it all started on july 15th – Shann went in to meet with the lung specialist after months of coughing and short breath which became more apparent post kidney stone surgery. from there x-rays showed 2 liters of fluid on her left lung, after post draining (in which they removed 1.5 liters of fluid) Shann experienced great discomfort, the post draining x-rays showed a shadow…next step.

a CT scan was scheduled a few days later, a follow up appointment with the lung specialist revealed a mass (polite word for tumor) in Shannon’s left lung. from there a same day appointment was scheduled with a specialist at the Montreal General Hospital that revealed that this mass, this tumor, was in fact the reality of cancer.

a biopsy would be scheduled later on that week, Friday to be exact, that the blunt stone cold truth was revealed that Shann did in fact have all the signs of cancer, but now it was the purpose and goal of this biopsy to find out what type.

meeting with the hematologist several days later put Shannon on the fast path to a series of much needed tests that precede all chemo treatment. this is standard. so Shann spent the next 9 days in the Montreal General toughing out grueling back to back exams over that slightly over 1 week stay.

Hodgkins Lymphoma. WTF.

how? why? 27 years old, never smoked a cigarette in her life. lives an active and healthy lifestyle. more than most. how could this happen? why this curve ball? why now? why ever?

a new journey was about to begin, the journey of life would continue. it would not stop, it would continue, the sun would rise and set another day and another day Shannon would be bright and alive and ready to take on whatever would come her way.

and so she does. she keeps moving. grooving. loving me and our dog Brandy and all the great family and friends one could ever hope for.

no matter what, life is great.

anytime you get to wake up in the morning and live and fight and experience another day, its great.

one thing people always tend to say is, put things into perspective, the problem with saying that is that everyone’s perspective is different. what may be amazing to you, to another is just whatever. and vice versa.

originally when i started this blog a few years back, i started it with the goal of one day becoming a famous world renowned self-help book author and motivational speaker. the issue with this was that i wasn’t even in that mindset yet. i had the dream, but i didn’t have the capacity to get me to that level. at least not in the short amount of time i wanted to achieve it in.

so i grew impatient and frustrated – i forced my writing. would write in grand spurts and then stop cold turkey for several weeks if not months.

i had a small following on my blog and my writing seemed to inspire others and bring some light to their life. most of who read and followed my blog knew me and thought it was cool to read me. but when i would stop for periods of time, i lost the focus and the following. i let them down in some way and they moved on to what was next.

i lost momentum. but i never lost the desire and passion to write. writing still is one of my most favorite and beloved things to do on this planet. perhaps that is why i stopped, or slowed down. i sometimes (not always) believe that when you love something so much, and can’t wake it to the level you want to with a certain period of time, you become against yourself and your craft and you stray away from what matters to you most.

its like why do we hurt those who we love most.

now my writing has found a new purpose.

a few weeks ago my amazing gorgeous loving fiancee Shannon was diagnosed with cancer (we got engaged about a week before we found out) – Hodgkins Lymphoma. she will be fine, more than fine, but there’s a long road that must be traveled onto recovery.

i will be by her side, along with our 4 year old female Boxer Brandy and swarms of loving devoted angel-like family and friends.

Shannon is the most beautiful person i have ever had the privilege of meeting and knowing and spending my time with on this planet. her smile could light the world, her laughter and love could keep one alive for thousands of years. but most importantly, her positive attitude and outlook on life is what inspires me and so many others. even more importantly, her mind powers her. her mind and soul will get her through all this, considering at 27 most women her age are thinking about their career and what to wear to that party on the weekend.

Shannon is my inspiration right now. And so she has inspired me to finally know what my purpose is in regards to this blog.

i now write for her.

and for all those out there who may take something away from these words.

i will write daily, offering a play by play of what’s going on in Shannon’s life, our life together. As well i will write about health, and food and great things for the mind and body and soul and for life.

life is great, no matter the hand your dealt.

there will be ups, and inevitable downs, but there will always be great – you just have to work to find it, cause its there, usually right around the corner.

I’ve now found it thanks to my Shannon.

i love you Shann.